Preparation for your divorce and/or child custody case

Preparation for your divorce and/or child custody case

Prior to Court
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Prior to your court hearing, you need to go to the courthouse and watch how other divorce and child custody cases are conducted. If possible, go to the exact courtroom in which your case will be heard and see how the judge handles their courtroom. Watch the courtroom process and become familiar with how things are done.

Even though you were in the courtroom observing the proceedings a day or two before, on the day of your hearing make sure you tell the court clerk or bailiff your name and make sure you are in the correct courtroom.

You can never be too prepared for a divorce or child custody court hearing. Therefore, before each court appearance, review, review, review and review some more. You need to know your court documents for that hearing inside and out.

On the Court Day

Dress appropriately and comfortably. A coat and tie are not necessarily required, but slacks and a dress shirt are the minimums. You want to look good, look professional, look respectful, without looking like a million dollars.

Never, ever be late for a divorce or child custody court hearing.

Unless requested otherwise by court personnel, do not take your children to court.

Watch your behavior from the moment you get out of your car until the time you drive away from the courthouse. You never know who is watching, what they are watching and who they may be talking to - stay alert.

Do not chew gum or candy while in the courtroom.

Once in the courtroom, do not leave unless your attorney gives you the OK. Not leaving the courtroom is especially important if you are representing yourself because if they call your case and you are in the restroom, they may count you as a “non-appearance” and take your case “off calendar.”

Stand up when the judge enters the courtroom and wait until he/she sits down before you do. Making eye contact with the judge during the proceedings is OK, but do not stare. The judge is the authority of the courtroom, they make the rules (and they can change the rules without every saying a word about it, so be flexible, be prepared and be confident).

Take a pad of paper with you to your divorce or child custody court hearing so you can write down any important information such as, dates and times of continuances, temporary orders, or special instructions from the judge.

Keep your focus purposeful and directed. Do not allow yourself to become disappointed or drained by the legal process. Family court procedures can be very stressful with frustrating delays, confusing rules and unfair tactics by some attorneys. Shake off the negatives, hold on to a positive thought and keep your energy level up - this is your life, this is your child’s life, and this is you and your child’s future at stake.

Listen to what is being said and mark down on a piece of paper any lies, discrepancies or omissions in the other parent’s testimony including any of the other parent’s witnesses’ testimony. If you have an attorney, do not whisper to your attorney; instead, pass along the notes you have been writing (unless otherwise instructed by your attorney).

When testifying in your divorce or child custody hearing, make the assumption the judge has not read any of your file, none of your current paperwork, and therefore knows absolutely nothing about your case.

Be confident, not cocky; Be assertive, not aggressive. Give an impression of confidence in yourself and your abilities as a parent.

Anytime the judge speaks to you, respond in a pleasant and polite manner.

Do not whisper or talk while the judge is talking. Never, ever make faces, gestures or remarks in response to what was said by the other parent, their attorney, a witness, or the judge. Have your best happy and confident poker face firmly planted.

Obviously, never lose your temper in front of the judge - no matter what happens, no matter what is said, no matter was is done. Stay calm, in control and confident even under extreme stress and duress. Do not get into arguments or make unseemly remarks to anyone in the court or in the halls or any surrounding area before, during or after the hearing or any breaks during the hearing.

When questioned by the judge or attorneys, keep your answers short and to the point. Never volunteer any information whatsoever. If you have an attorney, always look to your attorney before answering any questions - allowing your attorney time to object to the questioning if they need to.

In California, you will want to take a self-addressed-stamped-envelope (SASE) to give to the court clerk to mail you a copy of the Minute Order from your divorce or child custody hearing. This will save you a trip back to the courthouse later to pick up your Minute Order.

www.dedicatedfathers.org

By: Marvin Chapman
www.unitedfathers.org