Child Abuse, Divorce, and Child Custody

ALLEGATIONS OF CHILD ABUSE
Divorce & Child Custody (part 2)

By: Marvin Chapman
www.dedicatedfathers.org

In the California Family Code Section 3027.1 it states the following:

“If a court determines...that an accusation of child abuse or neglect made during a child custody proceeding is false and the person making the accusation knew it to be false at the time the accusation was made, the court may impose reasonable money sanctions, not to exceed all costs incurred by the party accused as a direct result of defending the accusation, and reasonable attorney’s fees incurred in recovering the sanctions, against the person making the accusation.”

In over 26 years in the family court arena, I have never experienced nor have I ever heard of any judge actually determining someone has knowingly made a false allegation of child abuse.

Pretty amazing fact when you consider the following:

Outside of family court: Independent third parties are generally the ones making the allegations.

Outside of family court: Mothers are found responsible for 49% of child abuse cases (with fathers, other relatives and strangers making up the other 51%).

Inside family court: By an overwhelming majority, it is mothers who make allegations against fathers [even though statistically, the mother has a higher probability of committing abuse (49% of all cases as shown above). This fact is totally ignored in family court.

Inside family court: The vast majority of the allegations can not be verified or validated; however, the father is almost always treated as guilty from day one.

Research shows that upon the accusation of child abuse in family court, the presumption of guilt is taken for granted by the majority of attorneys and judges. Therefore from the onset, an accused father is treated as though he were guilty. As indicated in Part 1 of this Allegations of Child Abuse section, in family court (divorce court) child abuse allegations require no proof, no validation, no verification, no police reports, nor any other tangible evidence - the mere unsubstantiated allegation will do.

Research also shows mothers often obtain sole custody of the children, terminate or severely restrict visitation with the father, then request an increase in child support due to the reduced time the father has with his children. All of these consequences tearing apart the restructuring family, severely damaging father-child relationships, injuring the father emotionally, and many times destroying the father financially. All of this trauma built around unfounded false allegations. With such devastating consequences you would think family courts would be more pro-active in going after those who make false allegations. Unfortuantely for the families involved, not only do the courts not go after those making false allegations pro-actively, they don’t go after them at all!

The author of this article, Marvin Chapman, has a great website devoted to fathers rights and divorce. Why not check it out?
Visit www.unitedfathers.org

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Divorce & Child Custody - Child Abuse

Divorce & Child Custody:
ALLEGATIONS OF CHILD ABUSE

Part 1 of 2
By: Marvin Chapman
www.dedicatedfathers.org
www.unitedfathers.org

Research verifies mothers are responsible for 49% of all child abuse cases (with other relatives, strangers and fathers making up the other 51%).

In family court, twice as many mothers make child abuse allegations against fathers as do fathers against mothers.

Therefore, the mother making the allegation of child abuse against the father in a divorce is much more likely to be the perpetrator of the abuse than is the father.

Unfortuantely, the above facts are totally ignored by family courts.

In family court, the normal standards of evidence required for common criminals do not apply. In family court, child abuse allegations require no proof, no validation, no verification, no police reports, nor any other tangible evidence - the mere unsubstantiated allegation will do. Research proves upon the accusation of child abuse in family court, the presumption of guilt is taken for granted by the majority of attorneys and judges. Therefore, in family court, unsubstantiated hearsay allegations of abuse is all it takes for a father to be “guilty,” along with all the consequences which go with that “guilty” verdict. From the onset, the father will be treated as though he were found guilty in a real court.

Because the presumption of guilt is taken for granted by the majority of attorneys and judges in family court, the father will almost immediately be separated from his children - at least until he can “prove” his innocence. How does a father prove his innocence? How does he prove something did not happen? The reality is, he can’t. The very fact something did not happen prevents him from proving the non-happening of the non-event. It is a very well known and accepted fact that you can not prove the non-happening of a non-event - that is, except in family court.

During a divorce, the mere allegation of child abuse can and most of the time will cause an irreparable breakdown of the accused parent-child relationship. At the very least the previously healthy parent-child relationship will be disrupted and interfered with unnecessarily. The accused parent will typically become defensive and in the effort to prove their innocence, they will many times unwittingly distance themselves from their child, which is then used against them as verification of some form of abuse. With false allegations of abuse only the mothers win - fathers, children and father-child relationships all lose in some way or another.

Research also shows that mothers often obtain sole custody of their child, terminate visitation with the father, and then request an increase in child support due to the reduced time the father has with their child. All of these consequences tearing apart the restructuring family and damaging the father-child relationship, destroying the father emotionally, and injuring the father financially, are all built around simple unfounded false allegations and hearsay.

Many times the falsely accused parent is stigmatized and their reputation tarnished by the false allegations. This stigma and tarnished reputation may stay with them even if they are eventually found to be factually innocent. Many innocent men lose their jobs, become depressed and walk away from it all. In today’s fear filled society, the mere allegation of child abuse within family court can damage a person for the rest of their lives. Personally, I have had clients commit suicide over such abuse allegations - even after they were determined to be factually innocent of all charges. They could not take their neighbors, former friends and co-workers continued scorn and ridicule.

Regardless of the dire consequences of destroying a man’s life, false allegations of abuse, both spousal and child, are allowed to continue unabated in family court around this country. What most people seem to miss is the fact that it is the children who suffer the most with false allegations of abuse in that their relationship with one of their parents will be irretrievably impaired. Issues of abandonment, rejection, hurt and an overwhelming sense of loss will accompany most of these children for the rest of their lives.

Whether fiction, fantasy, legal ploy, or some other reason, false allegations of abuse are an indication the accusing parent is at the very least immature and over-enmeshed, and at worse, malicious, vindictive and prone to do anything to make the other parent “pay” for their perceived wrongs.

What makes false allegations of spousal abuse and child abuse so absurd is that when the parents were together, the accused parent was a good, decent and trusted parent. But once the breakup began, the accused parent was magically transformed into a mean, angry, abusing man. Why the family court can not see this fact is beyond any sound logical reasoning.

The use of false allegations of spousal abuse and child abuse will only stop when the standard is raised wherein a parent must prove the abuse, verify, validate and substantiate the allegations. Until then, families will continue to be abused by the very system which alleges concerned about the “best interests of the child.” Abusing a parent through false allegations, treating the falsely accused parent as guilty, making orders emotionally rather than logically and with proof, validation, verification and substantiation, are not and will never be in the “best interests of the child.”

Fathers who only months ago were good care-giving, productive and protective fathers are now child abusers. It is insane the courts even allow most of these cases. A simple third party investigation, short and inexpensive, would prove not only did the alleged abuse not happen, the mother knew her allegation was untrue when she made it. Then, and only then, will there cease to be an incentive for these false allegations to be made in the first place.

Like spousal abuse, child abuse allegations require no proof, validation, verification, police reports or any other tangible evidence - the mere unsubstantiated allegation will do very nicely by itself. Just as in false allegations of spousal abuse, false allegations of child abuse are extremely common in family court. Given the current heightened awareness of child abductions and child abuse nationally, there is a lot of emotions around the allegations of child abuse - and family court is almost totally governed by emotions.

Family court judges are given wide discretionary powers unlike any other area of law. This vast discretionary power of family court judges allows them to make their orders without ever having to justify and without ever giving sound logical reasoning for the orders they make.

Just like false allegations of spousal abuse, the mere allegation of child abuse is a winner for mothers. In the majority of cases, the mere allegation of child abuse will subject the father to parenting classes (money), supervised visitation with their children (more money) and a higher child support order (much more money).

If for any reason you suspect the other parent may make allegations against you, if the other parent has a history of repeatedly getting really angry with you, or if the other parent has ever made other false allegations against you (“You don’t love me anymore.”), then you need to take steps to protect yourself and your children.

The Author of this article, Marvin Chapman, has a great website devoted to father’s rights and child custody. Why not check it out? www.dedicatedfathers.org

Also be sure to visit www.unitedfathers.org

ALLEGATIONS OF SPOUSAL ABUSE (Divorce and the Family Court System)

ALLEGATIONS OF SPOUSAL ABUSE
Divorce, child custody, and the family court system

www.dedicatedfathers.org
www.unitedfathers.org
By: Marvin L. Chapman

In family court (divorce court), the definition of spousal abuse is fleeting at best. For over 25 years I have observed spousal abuse as being any time a parent “feels” uncomfortable or “threatened.” This is to say in family court, spousal abuse is the act of making the other party “feel.” Sounds funny? Absurd? Well, go to your local family law courthouse and find out where divorce and spousal abuse cases are being heard and then watch in amazement as you see the stories unfold.

Generally, all a woman has to say is she is in “fear” of the father and a restraining order is immediately placed against the father - no proof, no validation, no verification, no police reports, nothing is required other than “feeling fearful.”

Fact: 1 in 3 women (33%) and 1 in 4 men (25%) will be victims of domestic violence. With such statistics, it makes you wonder why so many women and yet so few men are able to obtain restraining orders for domestic violence. Could it be the institutional bias against fathers is so great in family law that judges just can’t or won’t believe men can be victims of abuse from women? Go to the courthouse, watch what goes on, make up your own mind.

In family court, the mere allegation of being “fearful” of the father will typically get the mother a three (3) year restraining order against the father. Additionally, many cases end up with the father being ordered to parenting classes (money) anger management classes (more money), supervised visitation with their children (even more money) and a higher child support order (much more money). Ever wonder why men feel all they are is a paycheck? Read this paragraph again and see if you can figure out why we feel that way.

In California, part of the formula for determining child support is the amount of time each parent spends with their children. Accordingly, if a mother makes a false allegation of being “fearful” and can get the court to order supervised visitation with the father - she just won the child support lottery. Therefore, mothers in California have a financially vested interest in making false spousal abuse allegations. And this is our divorce system at work.

I have had clients whose spousal abuse cases against them have been thrown out by the District Attorney (DA) as unsubstantiated and/or unfounded, only to have the mother go to family court and get a three (3) year restraining order against the father based on the same allegation which was found to be unsubstantiated and/or unfounded by the DA.

I have had clients who have pleaded with the court to allow them to take lie detector tests to prove their innocence, only to be turned down by the family court judge because the judge had already made up their mind that the father was guilty.

I have had many cases where the father can prove he was at work when the mother was “injured.” However, because the mother had a bruise, the court takes the mother’s word for it and grants a three (3) year restraining order. In many of these cases the mother is so proud of what she pulled off in court that they call the father and laughingly brag to him on how she learned to bang herself into a door jam to get a bruise. For this act, the father is given limited time with child children, pays for anger management courses, pays for a monitor to supervise his visits with his children, and pays a higher child support amount due to the limited amount of time he has with his children.

This is JUSTICE - Family Court Style

Again, in family court, only allegations are necessary - no proof is required, no validation and no verification is necessary for a family court judge to tell truth from fiction in less than 10 minutes. It hurts to admit it but as a trained therapist with over 25 years of experience, without any proof, validation or verification, I am many times unable to tell truth from fiction - no matter how many times I meet with a couple. Yet, in family court, a judge - with no psychological training or experience - can determine truth from fiction in less than 10 minutes.

What a world this would be if we all could be like family court judges and have such powerful insight into human behavior, family functioning and family dynamics that we are able to determine absolute truth within any particular family almost immediately!

Since the mere allegation of spousal abuse makes you guilty, even when totally lacking in proof, validation, verification or evidence, there is no absolute way to protect yourself from these false charges. However, to minimize your chances of being falsely accused make sure you do not in any way provoke a verbal altercation with the other parent. Walk away, go to a hotel, do anything, but do not get into a verbal altercation with the other parent. The next step of an escalating verbal altercation is false allegations of abuse.

I know many readers of this section may have very strong feelings about these issues. As I tell many of my own clients, “Don’t believe me, believe your own eyes and ears.” Go to your nearest family court and watch the divorce and domestic violence hearings. If possible, talk to both the fathers and the mothers involved. Determine truth for yourself.

IMPORTANT DIFFERENCES IN ABUSE ALLEGATIONS

Allegations of spousal abuse (domestic violence) within family court is not the same as allegations of spousal abuse outside family court. Within family court there are emotional battles over the children, hurt feelings, divorce issues, perceived wrongs, financial incentives, and other issues which drive the desire to punish the other parent through false allegations. Other than judges, those involved in family court know the vast majority of claims of spousal abuse within family court are simply false allegations - without any factual foundation whatsoever. Outside of family court, there are few rewards for making false allegations. Accordingly, the vast majority of claims of spousal abuse outside of family court are based on fact with substantial factual foundations.

“FAMILY COURT IS FAMILY ABUSE”

Marvin Chapman, the author of this article, has a great website devoted to fathers rights and divorce information. Why not take a look?
www.dedicatedfathers.org
www.unitedfathers.org

Dedicated Fathers is the ultimate tool to help you defend your rights!