Monday, February 26, 2007

divorce mediation part 5 - recommendation

DIVORCE MEDIATION
Part 5
Recommendation Mediation


BY: Marvin Chapman & Dedicated Fathers
www.dedicatedfathers.org
www.unitedfathers.org


Court Connected Mandatory Mediation - Recommendation Mediation

If your County Mediation office IS NOT confidential, meaning they do make a recommendation to the court, then listen closely...

Be very careful. Everything you say, every thing you do (or do not do), every action, every reaction, every statement or lack of statement, can and will be used against you by the mediator in their recommendation to the court.

Why? Because mediators are people with similar biases, prejudices, preconceived notions, belief in stereotypes and other dysfunctions - just like normal people. It is extremely unfortunate confidentiality is not mandated because in recommendation mediation, any and all of any particular mediators’ biases, prejudices, stereotypes and preconceived notions will have an effect on their “recommendation” to the court - a recommendation which the court will almost always follow.

If mediation is not confidential then you will need to dress, walk, talk and act as if you are in front of the judge. You will want to present your reasons and explanations for what you are asking without making disparaging remarks about the other parent and without the need to justify your reasons. This is a time to show how you can stay out of the garbage pit of emotions, time to show you can stay focused on the best interests of your children, and time to demonstrate how you plan on making your parenting plan work for all concerned.

Remember, if mediation is not confidential, then everything - and I mean everything -can be and will be subjectively evaluated by the mediator. The mediator’s subjective evaluation, including all of their biases, prejudices, preconceived notions and stereotype beliefs, will impact their recommendation to the court.

This is the time and place to demonstrate your friendliness, the openness from which you are willing to deal in mediation, and your pleasant personality in getting along with the other parent, all of which will go a long way towards warming the mediator to your way of thinking.

BY: Marvin Chapman

www.dedicatedfathers.org

Start defending your rights today with the Dedicated Fathers Audio Series!

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Rick said...

This is a good article containing some sound advice. While mediation may seem informal when compared with legal proceedings inside a court, they should be treated with the same amount of respect.

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Liaise said...

Divorce mediator still feels like a new idea in some parts of the country, but it's increasingly well-known and widely accepted.

Mac said...

Increasingly couples are turning to divorce mediation as a realistic and healthier alternative. A couple meets with a mediator to hammer out an agreement covering all the terms of their divorce, including finances and child custody.


Divorce Mediation Patchogue, NY

Mac said...

Increasingly couples are turning to divorce mediation as a realistic and healthier alternative. A couple meets with a mediator to hammer out an agreement covering all the terms of their divorce, including finances and child custody.


Divorce Mediation Patchogue, NY

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Some Western jurisdictions have a no-fault divorce system, which requires no allegation or proof of fault of either party. The barest of assertions suffice. For example, in countries that require "irretrievable breakdown", the mere assertion that the marriage has broken down will satisfy the judicial officer. In other jurisdictions requiring irreconcilable differences, the mere allegation that the marriage has been destroyed by these differences is enough for granting a divorce. Courts will not inquire into facts. A "yes" is enough, even if the other party vehemently says "no".
For more information about Divorce Mediation in Nassau County, visit Divorce Mediator Long Island, NY

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